a light floats
in a universe of darkness
a power so strong
it lights up the world
no planets would come near
no star could compare
the silence so unbearable
it fueled the flames
hotter and hotter
boiling its fury
until its very heart exploded
and every surface erupted
no planets would come near
no star could compare
it wondered to itself
will I ever die?
This is an awesome poem! The ‘no planets would come near
no star could compare’ parts in the beginning and end work very well. The life of the sun seemed both mystical and frightening and the last line I think seems kind of powerful and I love it!
Wow, i really like this poem. It is very well thought out. I love the line :
a light floats
in a universe of darkness
It just is cool to imagine. i love astronomy so maybe thats why i like this poem so much. I like how the lines flow together and how you tied off the ending by bringing back lines from the begining. I like it! Great job.
I love this poem. I love that you almost made the sun have feelings sort of thing. I almost feel bad for the sun now. haha. Wondering if it ever gets sick of sitting up in the sky. On a more mature note, the tone of the poem works great and I love your freestyle poems, they always turn out great. That poem left me with an image in my head and I love poems that do that, they make me think. GOOD JOB!